Tips to make online messaging better

Here are some things that make online conversations better

• Overemphasize politeness. People read text in their own head in their own voice (or their version of you), so you want to try and be as nice as possible.
• Underemphasize sarcasm. Again with no tone and body language, it’s hard to tell if it’s sarcasm unless you are explicit about them
• Express more gratitude, deference, greetings, apologies and hedges. It’s easy to get defensive and skeptical, so we have to work to break that through text. Starting with something grateful or positive just to set the tone is a good idea.
• Avoid criticism in public. Don’t criticize people in public. It makes them vengeful and that will only make you vengeful.

Because you have fewer tools in your conversation arsenal, it pays to be more thoughtful with messages and to re-read them to make sure they are landing correctly.